In the midst of a pandemic, when education has been turned upside down, I have returned to my roots as a classroom teacher in a Christian school. I love my Kindergarten students. Each day, I have the privilege of pointing them to Him and they do the same for me.
One day a student was struggling with big emotions. He came to me so overwhelmed he could barely speak. He plopped down and leaned in hard. I wrapped my arm around him, his body melted into mine and I held his weight physically and emotionally. Tears filled both our eyes. He trusted me for comfort and a listening ear. I was honored to be a safe place to fall and let his emotions flow.
He came to me out of necessity. The emotions pressing on his heart were too much to carry alone.
For a moment, I glimpsed what the Father must feel when I come to Him with my big emotions.
Twenty twenty has provided big emotions a plenty. This year has fallen short of expectations no matter how low the bar was set.
My heart groans for answers to the question of how much longer? Coronavirus, political discourse, racial tension, violence in our communities, economic loss and the list goes on.
In Psalm 13, David cried out to the Lord and asked the same questions.
Four times.
O Lord, how long will you forget me?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
When we are hit with something out of the blue, we muster up faith and trust God to see us through. However, when the situation persists with no end in sight, feelings eclipse faith and desire creates impatience.
David knew what to do. He plopped himself in the Presence of Almighty God and pressed in hard. David knew the nearness of God is where peace will be found. He unloaded the weight of his emotions on the One strong enough to carry what he could not. He asked the questions his heart longed to have answered.
A few verses later his spirit is lifted, not because his questions were answered, because his focus shifted. Instead of focusing on the what he didn’t know, he focused on the One he did. He activated his faith in the unfailing love of the Father. He gave thanks for the rescue to come and sang to the Lord because he is good. (Psalm 13:5-6)
I think it’s safe to say the big emotions of 2020 are far from over. When the emotions come, fall in to the safe and welcoming arms of the Father. Unload the unanswered questions, fear, anxiety and despair. Remind yourself that hope is coming. Choose to rejoice and live in expectation of the goodness of God.
